Blog #21

SocialConventions

"Ben* and Sarah* sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes marriage then comes the baby in the baby carriage." - Children's Playground Song
 

This is how life is supposed to go right. Go to High School, go to College, find someone you love, get married, have a family. Alas! It's not the only way.

Over the last few years, I've been picking up on all these social conventions. Social conventions that if a person doesn't follow, the person is ridiculed, thought to have made a mistake or will eventually change his mind. 

After thinking long and hard about it: I don't want kids. ( and people get generally concerned about it )

It's not a problem. Maybe 1% of people say something positive after I remark that kids aren't for me. Many people ask me, "Well why not?" Isn't the fact that I don't want one a large enough reason? ( Yes, yes you say I'll change my mind.) Hundreds of thousands of babies are being born across the globe as you read this. It's going to be alright if I don't have a child.

I hear a hushed remark here or there such as, " Oh she never married.", "They didn't have any kids..." Like those things are taboo. It does not mean those people were any less happy.

"Tommy* and Tina* have been dating for 8 years. I can not believe they aren't married yet."
WHY? Maybe they're trying to be like Oprah. Is a relationship any less valid if you don't (as Beyonce` would say) "put a ring on it"? Doubtful. If it is, then the relationship wouldn't have worked if said couple was married. For a lot of people, marriage is for a religious reason and I completely respect that choice.

Don't get me wrong, I love all the tots that are in my life! It's just a new concept that people aren't wanting a family of his or her own these days.
Everyone is entitled to their own life choices. Here's to wishing everyone felt that way. Maybe one day.

Cheers! 

Blog #20

Secret Keeping is no easy task.

       If you read my past post on the importance of the co-pilot position, this post will seem familiar.  Normally, a secret begins in a variation of one or two ways.  1) "Ok, I have to tell you something but you have to promise not to tell anyone..."  or 2)   the secret is said then the person telling the secret says," Would you mind not saying anything? Nobody knows about it". 

    Okay people, we need to start self advocating. Keeping secrets is an irksome job. I'm pretty sure this quote sums it up from the ever animated Sheldon Cooper when asked to keep a secret:

" Well, I’m sorry, but you would have had to express that desire before revealing the secret, so that I could choose whether or not I wanted to accept the covenant of secret-keeping. You can’t impose a secret on an ex post facto basis."-SheldonCooper

         There are many angles involved in keeping a secret which can slippery-slope in to a person lying to cover up for said secret! An unacceptable, vicious, circle.  What if the person didn't want to hear the secret in the first place? I think it's polite to ask first. That is all. I'll admit, I haven't been asking when telling someone something private but I think from now on I will try.  Some people love keeping secrets; they're called psychologists and psychiatrists.  

Seriously though, before you decide to divulge a secret, take 10 and think of what you're entrusting this person with. If you have a great secret keeper in your life, let he or she know. It's a tough job, but somebody has to do it.

"The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep " - Edgar Watson Howe

 Cheers!

Blog #19

I'm in a glass case of emotions!

      
        Say What?

       

                   It's wedding season!

     Since nearly half my family and friends are getting married this year and I'm a bridesmaid in two of them, how could I not post about weddings!  Who knew there are an overflow of traditions, expectations and (as Sheldon would say) 'social conventions' pertaining to  weddings? After listening to many conversations, I just have to say: a  conventional wedding is not for me.  

    First off let me just say that having a wedding is a lot of unneeded pressure BUT millions of girls/boys grow up concocting the perfect wedding day with all the trimmings? How does it happen? I never grew up dreaming of that. Is it an outside influence when we're younger? Why is it the wedding day?

           Secondly, weddings are unreasonably costly ( just as are funerals these days, but that's another blog).  So technically, the bride and groom shell out thousands of dollars to celebrate with every family member they can find in his and her address book, while the guests give them maybe the equivalent in gifts? Doubtful. I can understand wanting to celebrate with family in friends but to celebrate with an Uncle and 5th cousin who last saw you never? Pur-lease. Invite the people you truly want to spend the day with and rejoice you're forever attachment-ness. 

    Thirdly, there are SO many "rules" I never knew about (not shocking).  Examples being: who throws the bridal shower? The Groom's family is supposed to pay for the alcohol while the Bride's is supposed to dish out for everything else? The engagement ring and wedding ring are two separate rings!?  A couple pretty much has to apply to be able to marry in a church? The decorating of the "get away" car is normally done by the groomsmen?  We're practically the only nation that dresses our Brides in all white? In Indian cultures, they wear white to funerals and brides wear red saris (cool!) After frequenting bridal boutiques and shops, I was happy to spy a few "non-traditional", slightly colored wedding gowns on the racks.  

Lastly, since I could go on forever, wedding days are a joyous time; don't get me wrong. Every Bride and Groom has the right to plan it however they would like: traditional or non-traditional and not have to justify anything to anyone.  As long as your day has you sparkling with delight, do it however you'd like! As for me? I'll just stick to the Justice of the Peace and save all my money for a honeymoon to Greece or Italy or Crete or Barcelona!...ok, I digress.

Congratulations to all the dynamite Brides and Grooms! Aryn and Brandon. Cassie and Andrew. Logan and Ken. Nicole and Duke. Lakin and Tyler. Ryan and Kelsey. Heather and Zach.  

Blog #18

 Does any one ever wonder where common English idioms originated from? 

               Amidst learning a different language, I wonder about this quite often.  

(if you just googled "idiom", good for you for having the curiosity to learn!)

 For those of you who didn't do anything here are a few common idioms to freshen your memory:

• A piece of cake.
•  Have an axe to grind. 
•  Give him the slip.
• Like a chicken with it's head cut off.
•  Pass the buck.
• Sick as a dog.
•  When pigs fly.
•  The apple does not fall far from the tree.
• Let the cat out of the bag.
•  Kick the bucket.
• Hold your horses. 
• Get on his last nerve.
• Smoke the peace pipe.

These idiomatic expressions somewhat make sense, however how did these next examples originate?

• Fit as a fiddle- Maybe because a fiddle has an hourglass shape? A sought after appearance for a majority of women.
• Right as rain- Maybe the person who made this up really enjoyed rain?
• Something nasty in the woodshed- No idea.
• By the skin of your teeth- No idea.
• Beat around the bush -The groundskeeper wouldn't do his job?
• As rare as a hen's teeth- What? No idea.
• Save someone's bacon- Bacon could have been a valuable meat back in the day?
• Seven sheets to the wind- It took seven sheets to clean up after a drunkard?
• Teach your grandmother to suck eggs - Clueless
• Slowly, slowly catchy monkey
• Throw the baby out with the bath water-Mom had had enough?

It's curious. How do phrases like the examples above catch on? Is that just it, does a phrase just have to "catch-on"? Can a person make his or her own idiom now days? 

Learning to translate one language to another is hard let alone having these different phrases that covertly coverup what is being said.  Any guesses as to what "something nasty in the woodshed"  metaphorically means?

I hope some people are curious about his or her native language.  Language is a complex thing but don't be afraid to tackle a new one. 

Who's bilingual? 

fist pump.

Blog #17

The position of co-pilot is highly underrated....

Does anyone understand the undertaking when a person yells "Shotgun!"? It doesn't only mean you are able to ride on the front passenger side. Oh no. 


Expectations for Co-Pilot Position:


1) Co-pilot is in charge of directions. Have a map, smartphone ready when driver says "Wait, I'm looking for Spartan Ave right?".


2) Co-pilot is to be ready for any command from the driver. For example: Driver," I'm kind of getting hungry."  Co-pilot either a) has a granola bar at the ready or b) has a list of near-by restaurants and which will take the shortest amount of time in alphabetical order. OR Driver, " Uh oh, I think I'm going to sna...sna..." Co-pilot: At the ready with tissue in time for the sneeze with a great smelling anti-bacterial gel for clean hands afterward.


3) Keen ears are a must for any co-pilot. When the driver receives a text message, you are to text the texter back via whatever the driver says. Improv is not recommended.


4) Co-pilot is a supporter. "What an idiot! He totally did cut you off! What Jerk-wad." (insert appropriate foul names as severity of driving offense by other car),  "Don't worry we are making great time!", "I know you're tired but we're almost there!"




Things A Person Can Do to Never Be a Co-pilot Again:


1) Fall asleep while in the co-pilot seat.
2) Mess with the driver's radio/critique driver's station choice.
3) Ask the driver if he or she thinks you both are heading in the right direction.
4) Become lost due to co-pilots 'directions'
5) The person in the back seat is more helpful than the co-pilot.


It's a big responsibility.  Think before yelling shotgun.   

Blog #16

Winter.
For people in Michigan it means bare trees,
frigid temperatures, ice, and snow.


  SNOW. Snow snow where did you go? People complain if we have a lot of snow and complain if we do not have any snow.  Is it time for Christmas? I am starting to realize how much snow factors in to many people's holiday spirit.
  I've heard people say lately that it doesn't "feel" like Christmas with bare grounds.  How to people in the warmer states such as Florida, California and Texas do it? They are used to a snow less holiday. If they experienced an unusually snowy Christmas, would they would prefer a snow less Christmas? Us Michiganders have been spoiled in to a flawless Christmas with ample amounts of fluffy white. It has me thinking, does people's spirit waver without that glistening blanket we know so well?
  Personally, I've always liked the snow. It makes wherever you are serene and radiant. It does seem less like Christmas without even a hint of snow.  I also feel like my holiday spirit is lower this year.  What do you think, for you, does snow directly correlate with the level of holiday spirit? 
Let's hope the no-snow factor doesn't trump Christmas overall. Just think, this is our year to see how warm states feel during the holidays. 
happy Christmas!

Blog #15

The Truth.

       These days the truth has negative press surrounding it.  Growing up, kids are taught not to say things that are true. Example: A mother and child(5 years old) are standing behind and overweight gentleman in line at a grocery market. The child comments, "Mom, that man is really fat". Then the child is usually reprimanded in some form.  

Okay maybe that comment was a little out of order.

BUT

   I think the world would function so much smoother if the truth was an acceptable response in almost all situations. 

A FEW PROS OF TRUTH-TELLING:

1) Get to the point quicker.

2) Maybe hear something that will surprise you (in a good way).

3)Find out if those jeans really do make you look fat.

A FEW CONS OF TRUTH-TELLING:

1) Maybe hear something that will surprise you (in a bad way).

2) Must ready ones self to hear authenticity at it's 'finest'.

3) May be called a: Bee eye tee sea aych.

Let me elaborate. Some things would be eye-opening, possibly even shocking therefore a person would have to be level-headed and open to criticism or whatever else is thrown at you. On the other hand, there is a way to handle honesty as well. Be precise but not ruthless. Sometimes trying to incorporate truthfulness into life is tough.  Rude, blunt, brash are just a few things I've overheard when truth is spoken. Sometimes people tell the truth when it's not asked for, those people are just overbearing. 

Your Goal: Stop saying sorry. That word is exceptionally uninspired! Sorry is associated with sorrow, grief and regret. Say it when you mean it. Here are some helpful words to say instead 1) Unfortunate 2) My bad 3) Whoops 4) Apologies 5) reluctant. 

If you haven't watched The Invention of Lying  I highly recommend it. It's a satyrical comedy of society and how the world would work without lies.